"A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone."
Henry Thoreau, 1817-1862
I've been reading an amusing comment exchange between two bloggers, one of whom is seriously into frugality and one who is...not. The one who is not made the mistake of referring to the other as 'cheap' and inferred they were living less of a life by being so. Oh dear. The blogger in question was a newbie to the world of blogging while the other was a seasoned blogger with thousands reading his words of wisdom on frugality.
It didn't end well. It's very difficult to make a good persuasive arguement for spending a lot of money on short-lived consumer goods on the basis you could go under a bus tomorrow, especially when you're writing a blog about how to get rich. In this case, he wanted to become rich so he could buy lots of stuff. Dozens of frugal people hit his comment section hard, and all with far more money in the bank than him (yes the newbie was posting about his finances too!) and many working part time or retired so they could go off and have adventures. No lesser life or half a life for these people. I think he understood that by the end.
Anyway, it got me thinking.
Like that newbie, a lot of people confuse being cheap with being frugal. They are very different concepts.
Being cheap is heavily asociated with being stingy, ungenerous, miserly. I've been out with cheap people who talk about how frugal they are. They go to great lengths to ensure they never take their turn to pay for something. Or they tell you repeatedly they're getting a great present for your birthday which hasn't turned up yet, and guess what? It never does. They like to walk into shops and swipe handfuls of condiment sachets and napkins while bragging they never buy ketchup/vinegar/toilet paper etc because they can get them for free. They don't like to offer you a drink when you visit them as they have to pay extra for the water/electric/teabag.
In short, these people debase the word frugality. They know the cost of everything but the value of nothing.
Hubby and I want to be as smart as possible with our money and consciously maximise its value to achieve our goals. Frugality is how we've chosen to do it. When we first started out we wanted to:
- understand how the media fuels our desire to buy stuff by making us feel inadequate and in need of fixing
- stop businesses manipulating us into buying their latest wonder product by becoming immune to advertising
- buy quality goods only when we really needed them, not wanted them, and get them for the best price possible
- set goals for us to be retired early and as close to financial independence as we can get by then
- sort out what we really need to live a comfortable satisfying life
- decide our priorities and values, and live to them
Over the years my wants have become pretty small, and I just sort of chug along from day to day in relative contentment. I certainly don't feel deprived in any way by our frugal lifestyle, and neither does Hubby. It helps that I don't like shopping anyway. Getting a buzz from buying something just seems somehow wrong to me. I should be getting a buzz from experiences, not buying stuff. Martin just can't be bothered to shop. If I didn't buy his clothes he'd be in rags and wouldn't care either!
But we never shirk paying when we need to or evade taking our turn. We don't lie to people or make brash promises we know we'll never keep. It lacks honesty and integrity.
It also treats people like they're stupid.
You know when you're being being treated like a mug.
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