Steel Kitten

A bit of a carry on...

...there's Carry on Cleo on the TV, Christmas pressie chocolate in my hobby basket along with a spot of patchwork and I've just been handed a nice cup of tea. 

What more could a girl ask for?

A cautionary Christmas tale

 

Well...I turned a corner with the illness this morning. For a few days I genuinely believed I had some kind of flu - high temperature, raw throat, dry cough with no energy to cough, solid sinuses - then at 5:10 this morning something happened. I sat bolt upright in bed and coughed and coughed and coughed. I frightened the life out of myself and Martin. I just couldn't stop, I couldn't breathe, I was shaking and Martin was hanging on to me, I just kept coughing and swallowing. Then I lay back swallowing rapidly for a couple of minutes trying to relax and get some air into me without triggering another coughing fit. My head was pounding hard and my ribs hurt. After a few more minutes I blew my nose, took a couple of ibuprofen, some spray to numb my raw throat and lay back quietly and closed my eyes. Then I woke up at 8:15am and realised I felt...fine. A bit headachey, but generally ok.

Quite what was happening I'm not sure. Perhaps the virus that caused my illness was doing the equivalent of Custer's Last Stand at dawn. Anyway, I think I'm going to be ok for Christmas Day. In fact earlier on I felt so ok that I had an urge to bake some gingerbread.

What follows is a cautionary tale where I ignore the warning signs and plough on regardless. 

First of all, I didn't have all the ingredients for gingerbread. I was short of soft brown sugar and golden syrup, but I'm a problem solving kind of person. 

I made up some sugar water and essentially caramalised it. That was my first mistake. I left it boiling way too long and instead of lifting it off the heat as it turned golden brown I took it off when it was dark brown. Hmmm....toffee anyone?

I ploughed on regardless. I mixed up some of the 'toffee' with the other wet ingredients, not noticing I used two heaped serving spoons of treacle instead of two level desert spoons. Mistake number 2. Or that I hadn't put the butter in. Mistake number 3.

After a few minutes I could see something wasn't right in the pan. Then I remembered the butter and added it quickly. 

Phew I thought. Just got away with that. I hadn't, but I had no sense of smell so the unpleasantness that was unfolding in the pan was being masked. I didn't have any soft brown sugar so I did a half and half mixture of white and muscovado and added that in. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't muscavado - wait for it - black treacle coated sugar?? Mistake number 4. Despite having not much sense of smell, I could sense the air beginning to take on a weird fugg not unlike boiled linseed oil. 

I sifted together the dry ingredients. I didn't have any ground cloves so I ground up some whole cloves in a pestle and mortar and threw those in, big lumps and all. Mistake number 5.

Then I threw in an egg which I had forgotten to beat beforehand as instructed (Mistake number 6),mixed it into a dough rolled it out. 

I reached for my jar of cooker cutters - and couldn't get the lid off. The seal had formed so well there was a vacuum in place. All the Christmas cutters I had were on the inside and I was left with the only cutter that wouldn't fit into the jar - an alpaca. 

Now, do you think that after this many mistakes and the universe trying not to let me have my Christmas cookie cutters I might have twigged and said "ok. I get you. These will be rancid and you're trying to save me the humiliation."

Oh no. I ploughed ahead with the alpacas.

But I had no baking sheet. Too late I realised I had thrown out my baking sheet as it had got too badly scratched. Not to be deterred I used some baking paper on the top of a large foil roasting tin. Mistake number 7. 

It was only when I saw something flickering in the oven did I realised I'd drapped the baking paper over the top of a naked flame and the paper was on fire.

I grabbed what I thought was the spray bottle of water I use when I do the ironing, thinking to spray water on the burning paper and perhaps being able to salvage the alpaca gingerbread biscuits. Not the way my luck was going.

I'd grabbed an Ecover multi-surface cleaner and liberally sprayed it all over the flames and yes, over the biscuits. I only realised when I took a deep breath in and inhaled a lungful of hot Ecover fumes. I turned the oven off, retreated to the conservatory and shut the door. 

I'm not touching anything more until Martin gets in. I'm just not to be trusted with any domestic task when I'm unwell.

I'm going into the living room shortly to knit and watch a film. Assuming I don't fatally injure myself on the needles I'll see you back here in the New Year. 

Merry Christmas everyone. Stay warm and stay safe. 

 

 

Yearly reflections

So I've been sitting here doing what I always do every year; reflecting on what I achieved, what I didn't achieve and what I would like to achieve this year.

I think all my smaller wants were eclispsed this year when I made a fundamental change in my life - I went back to work full time and am no longer a copywriter.

For me, that is a huge achievement and I'm very proud. I'd been saying for several years I'd had enough of copywriting but never really took that leap to force massive change. This year I did. I didn't do it straight off the bat though. I went back to work part-time as a copywriter after a friend told me about a job that was going in her department. And from there a few months later another job appeared on the horizon that took me back to my research roots and allowed me to be stretched and challenged in a way I hadn't been for years. There are some days I feel out of my depth and I'm glad. Glad because it means I still have lots to learn, the challenge is there waiting for me.

I don't regret being freelance and doing the copywriting. It taught me so much. It taught me:

• How to talk to people in terms they understand
• How to spot companies who pretend they're ethical in their marketing and really are just paying it lip service because it is good for business.
• To stop listening to those who have a vested interest in keeping me serving their selfish purposes and are not interested in my hopes and dreams.
• To get a deal signed, sealed and delivered; never accept a hand waving gentleman's agreement especially where money is concerned
• To lay out your excpectations and terms of dealing with people clearly and in advance - both in your private and business life - so they cannot pretend they didn't know
• To walk away from something that isn't a good deal
• To accept some people will never change; they cannot see their faults and hope by covering their eyes to block their view from them others will not see those faults either  
• That I'm at an age where I don't give a stuff if someone doesn't like what I'm doing
• That I'm stronger than I ever gave myself credit for and can turn my back on people who seek to manipulate me. I'm not someone who forgives easily or forgets. We spend a lot of energy trying to be nice to people who just don't deserve it. It's not noble. It's daft.

I've spent the last few days looking back on some of my hopes for this year, and really the small stuff pales into comparison to what I have achieved in my career. For both of us, we had a few hiccups along the way, like Martin just missing out on voluntary redundancy and us not having the time to completely finish the house, but on the whole, the big most important changes got accomplished. The stuff that depletes the soul was done with and that which nourished was found.

So what about this year? What do I hope I can accomplish this year?

• To learn to be employed again I guess. Fitting in housework and hobbies isn't as easy as I imagined it would be so we have to find a way to get to grips with it. I'd like to craft something new every week, at minimum once a month and stop with the weekend house cleaning fever I seem to have got stuck in. You don't lie on your deathbed wishing you'd done more housework.
• Reduce unwelcome drains on my time. I got myself a twitter account this year and a few months later deleted it. I was full of enthusiasm to start with but keeping up with others took up too much time and eventually I couldn't think of much to say on there. It was just a massive time sink that took me away from more important things in real life. There are still a few other unwelcome drains on my time left - the biggest being this computer and the amount of times I spend on forums.
• I'd like to gradually do away with chemicals in our lives. I believe glandular fever left me with a compromised immune system and in the new year I have to go for blood tests to figure out why my white blood cell count is low all the time (whether they put two and two together remains to be seen). I don't want to hit my immune system with more than it can handle so chemicals will gradually be phased out in favour of more natural products. To be honest this is nothing new. I have books from the 1990s on herbal remedies, first aid, beauty products etc so I'm going back to that place, a place I shouldn't have left behind. I'd also love it if Lucy from The Smallest Smallholding could share some of her recipes she mentioned in one of her comments, perhaps as blog posts so everyone can benefit from them (I hope your parcels turn up soon girl because that is one scary face you're pulling!)
• To learn more about permaculture, but make it a life long journey and not a sudden knowledge fest.
• To go back to exercising because I just don't feel right any more.

The rest I'm going to make up as a go along.

Just as soon as I ditch this bloody awful illness.

"Your time is limited so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't trapped by Dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become." Steve Jobs, Founder of Appple. 

It's proper Christmassy out there

 

It's 4pm and I'm sitting here in the conservatory drinking ginger, honey and lemon tea in a desperate effort to relieve my nasty cough courtesy of Mr Collins. For the first time ever, I'm off sick from work. Can't remember the last time I took a sick day - I'm usually able to do some work so never technically end up taking a sick day but this has hit me like a ton of bricks. I haven't had a winter chest infection and proper nasty cough for nearly seven years, and I remember that all too well. I ended up unable to walk anywhere because I couldn't breathe well and ran out of food. Tesco had just started doing deliveries and there was never such a welcome sight as that delivery driver standing in my doorway with full trays of food.

Thankfully I'm pretty much done for Christmas now - all the presents are bought and wrapped, and we're at my parents this year so no frantic last minute shopping or cooking for me. Saying that, the snow has been quite deep in our neck of the woods so I may still get a little turkey breast crown just in case we are unable to travel to them due to nasty weather or sickness. Saturday night we had to put off visiting friends an hour from here - our usual yearly Christmas jaunt - because the roads were impassable.

This is the first time I've talked about Christmas this year really. Last year I think I was out of the blocks in November and spent a disgsutingly indulgent Saturday morning lining all my December editions of Country Living, Period Living etc etc and reading them cover to cover with a pot of tea.

This year I've not got to that. Being sick since last Thursday has well and truly put the kibosh on my festive feelings.

However I have done some Christmas things of note.

• I have bought my Christmas cards from a lady at work who handmade them for me and donated the money to her local school's exchange trip to Tanzania, which will be taking place soon. Here are some of the lovely designs she made and she's currently doing some tags for me to. You can see those here.
• I have every Christmas present for everyone on my list
• I've played a bit in the snow and oooed and ahhhed over the permafrost we had a few weeks ago, which I hadn't seen for years. I got my nose and toes properly cold so they know winter is here.
• The cats are taking turns on the pouffe when the fire is lit. By the time all three have lined themselves up the humans do not stand a chance of getting near the fire at the moment

 

  

• We have finished the conservatory ready for the New Year (although the blinds that came with it are hideous and need changing pronto) and have almost completed the kitchen bar a little boxing in of some pipes and a second under counter freezer (I'll do another post about the kitchen shortly showing you the different stages of progress).
• Martin and I wanted a real tree this year - a cut one this time - but decided against it and have put up an artificial one given to us by his parents. 

***

More often than not we have a real Christmas tree, but we're very strapped for time at the moment and couldn't spare the hours involved going to find one, drag it home, and get it set up properly in a water trough ready for decorating. To be honest I've never really liked artificial trees and...well...it just seems more like Christmas with the smell of pine in the house. This might seem a little odd if you read my last post about the protecting our woodlands however, Christmas trees are apparently a little bit of an exception.

I've been reading up on Christmas tree farms and ethically sourced Christmas trees are specifically grown not cut from native woodland, and are environmentally friendly (as oppose to those unethical ones that are stolen from woodland margins):

1. Tree plantations act as a sink for carbon dioxide.
2. Every acre of trees produces enough oxygen for nearly 20 people while growing.
3. Growing trees reduce the humidity of the air and can cool us down without needing fans or air conditioners
4. Many plantations are now in the UK so no long distance travel from overseas is involved. 
5. And for me and Martin, at the end of Christmas we burn the tree on the fire, making it carbon neutral

Contrast that with artificial trees, which are made from metal and a variety of plastics, including PVC which is stabilised by lead. They take large amounts of energy to produce and are often manufactured and then shipped from Asia. And despite the idea that we keep them for years, the average lifespan of an artificial tree is just 6 years because they are fashion items. Different colours, LED lights, snow-tipped, inverted triangle, even already permanently decorated, you name it you can pretty much get it now. 

But I prefer the real thing. 

The first few years we were living here we actually had a living tree in a pot, but having to drag the poor thing in and out and then acclimatising it gradually eventually did it in. So this year we'll have the artificial tree and think about taking on less commitments next year so we can fully enjoy the build up to Christmas and the ritual and dragging the tree home.  

Poppy is a Horace. Oops.

Poppy is back with us fit, well and thankfully eating.

However she's turned into a boy.

It appears we sexed him wrong and the hedgehog carer didn't notice until she was giving him a final checkover before Martin picked him up. So she named him Horace and the name has stuck.  

Which now leaves us with the prickly dilemma of re-sexing Primrose just in case. 

However, it's fantastic news as only a few weeks ago I lamenting the lack of boys we've been raising over the last few years. Now Filbert has competition which will increase the genetic diversity of the population in the garden.